Advice From Oracle Joe

Dear Wacky Wonders,

Buckle up, because we’re about to dive headfirst into the zany world of your bizarre questions.

Q1: “Dear Oracle, I’m 390 pounds and have been riding my e-bike for a whole year and haven’t lost any weight. What’s wrong with me?”

A1: Well, my friend, it’s not the e-bike’s fault; it’s the snacks you’re packing. Riding an e-bike won’t magically transform you into a lean, mean, pedaling machine if you’re chowing down on cheeseburgers like they’re going extinct. Remember, an e-bike can assist your journey, but it can’t banish your calorie pals. Maybe swap that cheeseburger for a carrot once in a while? Just a thought.

Q2: “Dear Oracle, I bought a wifi penis enhancement device, and now my penis made its own Google profile. How is this even possible?”

A2: Ah, the marvels of modern technology! It seems your willy has gone tech-savvy and created a digital footprint even a Yeti would envy. Now, you can proudly say your Johnson is a certified Googler. Just be cautious with those search results; you wouldn’t want your nether regions to start spewing random trivia at inopportune moments.

Q3: “Dear Oracle, is it possible to pick up chicks on an e-bike? I’m 37, unemployed, and live with my parents.”

A3: Well, my fellow rider of the e-bike of love, let’s break this down. An e-bike isn’t a chick magnet on its own, but it’s a conversation starter. “Hey there, want a ride on my eco-friendly steed?” might work for some. However, you might want to work on the “unemployed and living with your parents” part first. Chicks usually dig ambition, independence, and not having to sneak around your folks’ place like a secret agent. Get a job, get your own place, and then maybe, just maybe, your e-bike will be the cherry on top of your dating sundae.

Remember, folks, life’s too short not to embrace the absurdity of it all. Keep those wacky questions coming, and we’ll keep dishing out the hilarious advice. Until next time, stay weird!

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