Interview With The Fake Prime Minister of a Fake Country

In the shadowy corners of Maplelandia, where the pungent scent of smoked maple leaves clung to the air like an unwanted secret, Johnston Troodope found himself in the crosshairs of a relentless investigator known only as Doug. Doug is a man who has seen the underbelly of the Maplelandian political landscape and had the whiskey-flask and ever-present drawling sarcasm to prove it. Below is the transcript from his interview with the Prime Minister of Maplelandia, Johnston Troodope.

Doug: Alright, Troodope, let’s cut to the chase. The economy’s crumbling, folks are losing their jobs, and you…you seem to be living in a candy-coated dream world. What’s your masterstroke to save us all?

Johnston Troodope: (With an impish grin) Economy, schmeconomy, my dear Doug! I love pudding and Frosted Flakes because they’re greeaaat!

Doug: (Opens flask) Nice to see you have endorsements. You’re like a broken record, Troodope. Unemployment is skyrocketing, and the masses are getting restless. What’s your plan to fix this colossal mess?

Johnston Troodope: Unemployment, employment, disemployment… Do you know that mom smoked weed and slept around. Think about it, I could be Fidel Castro’s son for all I know. I mean, I don’t even look like him…

Doug: Castro’s son, huh? Any shit is possible with you, isn’t it? Now back to serious matters; food prices are climbing faster than a squirrel on a sugar high. What’s your strategy to put a meal on every table?

Johnston Troodope: Food prices, like trying to teach a beaver to recite Shakespeare. What are you gonna do? But here’s something even crazier than food prices… I got caught wearing my wife’s underwear. True story. She got a little freaked out, but it’s okay now.

In the world of Maplelandia, where political absurdity reigns supreme, this peculiar encounter would be but a footnote in the annals of strange tales and whiskey-soaked investigations.

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